MFP 204: When Loving Your Spouse is Hard

   Love should be seen as something which in a sense never ‘is’ but is always only ‘becoming’” ~ St. John Paul II

 

All marriages go through a cycle.  That cycle includes times of romance, when everything is going well, your love is full, and you are working as a team.  It also includes times when things aren’t so great – we call this “disillusionment”.  Disillusionment is when you don’t have the feelings of being in love; you may not even like your spouse very much!  This is when we feel dry and even alone in our marriage and we need to choose to love.  It is like times of dryness in our spiritual life.  We still show up to mass, say our prayers, and go through the motions, but we don’t feel close to God.  Our marriages can be like this as well!  We need to learn that we still need to show up to work with our spouse, choose to smile and be kind, and speak with affection, even if the feelings aren’t there.  In this podcast, we describe this part of the cycle of marriage and give some encouragement on how to deal with it and move through it because when you do, it leads to true joy, a love that is deep and real because it has been tested and tried. 

Check out our blog post on this topic: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/disillusionment-what-to-do-and-how-to-fight-it/