Messy Family Minute #12: Unity

When you have a fight with your spouse, or I mean a “discussion with emotion,” it’s very easy to have tunnel vision and to make the goal of the communication getting our way, because of course “we” are right and they are wrong!

The reality is there are many things couples need to decide that aren’t moral issues, but instead prudential judgments. Often we can become obsessed with making the perfect decision, but we all need to remember that at the end of the day, even if you DO have a better idea than your spouse, it’s better to be wrong together than right alone.

The goal of communication in marriage is not to be right, or even simply to be understood but to achieve unity. We need to trust our spouse and listen with an open heart so we can see from a different perspective. Becoming a more effective listener with your spouse, over time, will actually make you a better person!

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